I have body aches, an intermittent sore throat, headaches, and bone-deep exhaustion.
Do you have a guess, a diagnosis? Maybe a flu bug, or even something heading towards mono?
Let me share some more of my symptoms, and then I’ll let you guess again.
A racing heart.
A pit in my stomach always, a knot in my stomach sometimes.
Fear. Fear that is not caused by any specific thing, fear that cannot be explained away or placed in a neat, tidy box.
Exhaustion so deep that sometimes it’s difficult to walk from the car into the store. Or church. Or wherever it is that I’m going.
And then sometimes when I get inside, the panic of being there. In the world. With all the people.
Simple tasks such as going to the post office, or making a phone call, or picking up the dry-cleaning, can take hours (or days) to complete, if you include the time it takes to self-talk myself into and through it.
Any guesses now?
If you’ve got the answer, it could be that you live with depression and anxiety yourself, or you love someone who does.
If you had no idea, you may have read the answer and be wondering how this person can be a functioning member of society at all. But I am.
Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share my personal story. I gave you the tiniest preview over the weekend, and now it’s going to get real in here. You’ll find my personal bouts with depression and anxiety, how I’ve dealt with it (or not) in the past, and how I’ve learned to embrace it as a part of my life and who I am, and how I continue to learn to live with it in a healthful way. I’ll share as best I can what it feels like, looks like, sounds like, and I’ll share my personal views on medication.
I’ll do my very best to help you understand.